The Midnight News 7.03.01
Posted By Hyatte on 07.03.01
Raw, Bitching at Net Morons, Free Pix, a Rumor squashed, A horny old fool, comments from a Wanker, and Patriotism.
Hello.
Late again... got caught up in a chat with a girl on AIM. Her name is "Bitch Factor" and a number. I think she's in love with me already.
Tomorrow is Independence Day in America. Which means that every town/city in America will shoot off the same exact fireworks they've been shooting off for 60 years now. Every single technological achievement has improved within 20 years.... yet no one has tried to improve fireworks.... they're always the same.... it sucks. What if movies never left the silent era? What if TV never left black and white? What if music never moved past the phonograph? What if girls never started having sex before marriage? What if no one ever discovered that Jesus Christ spent a good part of his formative years having sex with squirrels? HOW BLAND WOULD OUR SOCIETY BE??
Come on people... improve the f-ing fireworks.
THE RAW DEAL
I just want to say that Raw was on last night. It featured a historic first time ever main event where Booker T defended the WCW World Title against Buff Bagwell. The match ended with Austin and Kurt Angle running out and beating Booker up through to the back and eventually throwing him out of the building. Buff Bagwell helped them... then Austin and Angle turned on Bagwell and threw HIM out too. Scott Hudson and Arn Anderson were special guest commentators.
It also was the first time Shane McMahon called them "WCW SUPERstars".... sort of a big deal.
A lot of Net Writers has already deemed the Invasion story a "failure".... these a$$holes just want to bitch to make them seem knowledgeable. Hand WCW to any single Web dickhead... do you think THEY can make it a success? Of course not. They're all idiots. I'm an idiot too, but I don't go around calling the Superbowl a bad game after only the first couple of downs. Insipid F-wads.
Anyway, the show featured one of the goddam funniest moments on Raw TV. The last scene where Torrie Wilson gets Vince McMahon's pants off and shirt opened just so he can get caught by Linda McMahon. Truly an awesome scene. Almost everything taped backstage was hilarious.... especially with Austin.
You think Perry Saturn holding a broken Mop is a homage to the end of the Mop-Up? I do!!! F-You!! I DO!!
The bad news? The WCW main event wasn't good. Anderson forgot how to project his voice on mic, so it was a strain to hear him. Bagwell and Booker were obviously rusty and kept their match safe.
The crowd, from Tacoma, Washington were hard on the two. They weren't dead, they were BRUTALLY loud with chants of "boring", "Booker Sucks", "Bagwell Sucks", and "This Sucks". Someone who was there live said that the fans were furious that no big WWF main eventers performed.... so much so that many said that they would not go to the Smackdown taping held in the same building (I think).
Also during the main event, many fans were seen looking off to the side at something. I think I saw Bagwell doing the same too. I was told that two fans started to argue over a sign being in someone's face all night. Shoving was involved until security broke things up.
Ah, and the "mole" is obviously Pat Patterson. Who else in the company is most comfortable inside a hole, after all? But this does give the WWF midcarders something to do. And the display of unity and company pride is very cool. Bischoff NEVER allowed WCW to band together as a whole against the NWO.
The WWF is doing what they can with WCW while not having a plethora of big names to work with. It's not over, it just got started. DON'T BE A TROGLODYTE AND PASS JUDGMENT!!!! C-SUCKER!!!!
THE KING IS DEAD... AND HIS BALLS ARE MISSING
Jerry "The King" Lawler was all set to be a part of the WCW Broadcast team tonight. The contract was in his hand just waiting to be signed. He refused.
Why? Because Lawler was promised that his wife will come back too, yet there was no contract for her in the mail. Just for Lawler. No Kat. Outraged, he refused.
F-Ing moron. F-ing DOUCHEBAG!!!!
I said this once already, but this STUPID ASS is SO PU$$YWHIPPED that he is acting like a friggin' BABY!! He wants everything to be the way it USED to be... GROW UP!!! RETARD!!!!!
You know... he really is the very definition of trailer park. Total White Trash. Now I hope he NEVER comes back. Who needs him? Certainly, his young wife never scored huge with the crowd. No one misses her, Lawler. NO ONE CARES!!!!!
Screw him. Let him rot in Memphis. He is an insult to all males.
The Observer reported this
EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!
WCW made over 100 million dollars a couple of years ago. One year later, Eric Bischoff bragged that it was on track to make 200 million for the year. So how much did Vince McMahon pay for WCW, it's intellectual property, and vast video library?
Less than 7 million dollars.
This just in, Vince McMahon has been made an honorary Jew.
Bischoff and Jason Hervey couldn't come up with 7 mil? Jesus, even *I* can come up with that much!
I forgot where I got this... wasn't a huge site
CAN IT BE "SUNNY" WITHOUT A "DAWN"?
Yesterday, I reported (in a vast stretch of the word) that Dawn Marie... err... something was one of the girls who will get naked on Missy Hyatt's Vixxxens site.
Well, RF Video showed up yesterday and said that Dawn Marie will NOT be involved with this site. She will NOT show off her boobies online. You have to slip something in her drink when she isn't looking in order to get that.... as usual.
DM also puts down the rumors that she made a porno. She has NOT. Who reported that she was in a porno? I check out almost EVERY site and NEVER saw that.
On the bright side... the WWF is said to be interested in her, which is to say Vince McMahon knows her name.
Oh, and for you horny little virgins out there... someone snuck me some REAL "sneak preview" photos of the wrestling vixxxens. No nudes, sorry to say... but I'm sure SOMEONE will get me some of those shots eventually.
Here are some links of Tammy, Missy, Girly action, and Raylin, respectively... grab them while you can before they find out and trash them. Once you get a gander, look at the address bar... towards the end of the url title, you'll see a "1"... replace that with a 2 and a new pic comes up.... they all go up to 8, I think.
Don't see that fudge packer Scaia do this for you, do you? DO YOU???
Boom, Boom, Boom, and Boom!
BUT, PLUGS
Tom Daniels did Heat last night. He must have had such a good time that he went and recapped Raw too. The RAW recap was up by 11:30 pm est. That's fast! God, whatever happened to the good old days when recaps came out on Wednesdays and everyone loved it? Oh, right... I retired.
Danny Birdwell knows no one watches
Jakked, he also knows that Jakked sucks. The guy still tries to have fun with it.
Finally... Craig Letawsky has the answers to YOUR questions. So long as you don't ask him how to kiss a girl (you have to ask Widro for that... he'll ask me and get my answer right to you... HAW!!). What Craig does have is a new installment of Ask411. He's not "The Rick", so chances are the answers he gives are correct.
And Another Thing is coming later today. Just in time for the holiday where 411 becomes as visited as that grandparent you stuck in a Nursing Home and quickly forgot about.
We wrap things up with the return of everyone's favorite Brit Crip....
DYNAMITE EXPLODES
Well, not really, but deep within his comment board Tom "The Dynamite Kid" Billington offers his opinions on a variety of names.... 85% of them go along the lines of "He was a good guy and we got along great"...which makes finding some more juicy tidbits a BITCH to hunt down...
On 80's arseholes:
The biggest arseholes behind closed doors in the 80s Brutus Beefcake and Jacques Rougeau.
On Stone Cold:
Steve Austin at this moment in time is a big draw for the WWF, thanks to Vince McMahon for promoting him right. Without Vince, I’m sorry to say, he would be a nothing in the world of wrestling.
On becoming a wrestler:
By all means become a lawyer and then become a wrestler, so can sue the promoter when you get a bad pay day. Good luck in the future. Take care.
On Davey Boy Smith:
If Davey Boy Smith is still receiving checks from the WWF I can see him gaining a lot of weight from the money. Lots of money, hopefully, lots of jail time, he can afford to buy as much porridge as possible. Hallelujah.
On Meng/Haku:
Haku was one of the quietest men I ever came across, but if you ever crossed him in any way, Haku would turn into King Kong. And you would definitely regret that day.
On Beefcake:
Greg Valentine carried Brutus Beefcake for a long time but over the years, if Beefcake got a bad back, no doubt, that would have been from carrying Hulk Hogan`s bags in the WWF. He had no right in that ring. The ring was for professionals only, not for the likes of Beefcake.
On Hyatte:
Who the bloody 'ell is that?
*Sigh*... no respect.
Anyway.... I timed last week's exodus just so I can come back to a four day week! Widro promises me that no one does the web thing on major holidays and July 4th definitely qualifies.
See, for you Canucks and Brits and Krauts and Swish and Frogs.... tomorrow is maybe the best day in Global history... it's the day America was born! It's the day The greatest power the globe has ever seen rose from the crap that is the UK. Yes, tomorrow is the birthday of the country that has saved all your asses TEN TIMES OVER!! Germany? We bitchslapped your Nazi ass!! Russia? Spanked you and raped your Momma! Japan?? You're such a joke only homos like Zach Arnold care about you! Britain? Couldn't hold onto us, could you? Nope. Fags! Canada? CANADA??? The only reason Canada even EXISTS is because WE covered your wimp asses! Without us, you would have been Hitler's bitch! BEND OVER CANADA.... HERE COMES THE NAZI REGIME WITH A GIANT BLACK DILDO READY TO SKEWER YOU!! ON YOUR KNEES, YA' BASTARDS!!! ON YOUR KNEES AND THANK GOD AMERICA HAS ALLOWED YOU TO LIVE!!!! GOD BLESS MY COUNTRY!!!! GOD BLESS GEORGE W BUSH!!!!
My pecker is as hard as steel now... where's the nearest playground?
This is Hyatte.... AN AMERICAN!
